Back Home!

After spending 5 days in the hospital, we're back home at last!  Thank you Renee for keeping the blog world updated on our status and thank you all for your well wishes.  I'm sure you'll understand if I don't get to reply to all the comments.  They definitely made my day!  We couldn't be more blessed.

Ava is a doll.  I usually don't think my newborns are too cute, but she's a cutie (bad mom!).  This child has a head full of dark hair and the chubbiest cheeks.  Some of you may remember the scare we had earlier about her having club feet.  Well, her feet are turned, but the good news is that it is only positional, as in it was caused by her position in the womb.  With stretching exercises they should turn back the right way. 

One of the reasons for our long stay in the hospital is that Ava didn't know how to suck.  Because of that she wasn't getting any nutrients, so she became jaundice.  After working with an occupational therapist we were able to get her to swallow from a bottle of expressed breast milk.  Breastfeeding isn't happening at the moment, which is very depressing to me.  I am determined to make it work and get her to the breast, but it will be a long road, as she throws a fit every time I try to nurse her.  She likes having the milk pour down her throat from a bottle!  Yesterday and last night we had her under bililights, which was miserable.  Though I was really against giving her a bottle, it was most important for her to start eating.  Today her biliruben levels were much better, but we were still sent home with the lights.  It was either do it at home, or have her admitted and stay with her.  I can't tell you how miserable it is to not be able to cuddle your newborn!  Right now my instinct is to cuddle her as mush as possible and get skin to skin contact in order to work on breastfeeding, but I can't.  We are only supposed to take her out to eat and change her diaper.  We have our fingers crossed that after tonight her levels will be fine and we can try to get back to normal.

I never would have imagined that after successfully breastfeeding two kids that I'd be having this much trouble.  Luckily, I have an ample supply, so my pump is my best friend.  If any of you have any suggestions, I'm open.  Wish us luck.  Here are some pictures from this past week:

Right after delivery.

The kiddos.

Proud big sister.

Poor Ava under those awful blue lights.

Disgusting me going home.  I'm still quite swollen, but no longer pregnant!

Proud big brother.  He loves his baby sister.

Comments

[Stacy]

Yeah! I get to be the first to wish you a Welcome home!!! There's no place like home with a newborn, in my humble opinion. Maybe it will alleviate some of the pressure and you gals will get the nursing all figured out!! :)

Anyway... a thought about the nursing bummer: Did they suggest using a SNS and your finger to nurse her? A friend did this and eventually convinced the wee one to go to the breast. I'm not clear on the exact approach or the "why" it was advised...but it was an unusual solution to a challenge similar to your own. Just an idea. I can email you more details and ask my friend about it - if your unfamiliar.

Happy to see you home. Best wishes for a fast recovery and a fabulous adjustment. And, you look fantastic by the way....

[mamafitz]

hey, i have that blue shirt too! :) the SNS is a good option too (or a haberman feeder). the SNS gets Ava on your breast, but the flow can be faster. the haberman feeder is kinda like a bottle, only Ava will have to work harder for it, like on a breast. i sent you an email too. CONGRATULATIONS and you and Ava WILL get through this.

[Alicia A.]

Yes, you do look fantastic! And everyone looks so happy!

DON'T GIVE UP. I was going to suggest that syringe/tube thing with a pinkie finger or at the breast. Does your hospital have a lactation consultant? The ones I saw at our hospital were LOADS of help.

Good luck!

[denice]

WELCOME HOME!!!

What a beautiful babe you have! So sory about the frustrations... hopefully they will pass quickly. My trouble was always severe soreness, so I have no solid advice for you, but I wish you peace and good healing. -- And I must argue with you on the "disgusting" comment. You look like a happy new mama. Congratulations! :)

[Kristy]

All those happy faces!It's such a lovely time those first days together.I wish I could have frozen time!So glad her little feet are okay.Positional just like my Kitty she's nearly 6 now and her feet are beautiful!Don't beat yourself up about the breastfeeding.I bottled fed 2 and breastfed 2 and there really is no difference in their health or development:)

[Mirre]

Such wonderful pictures... welcome home Beki!!
Lots of luck with the breastfeeding; I hope she'll get the heck of it soon!!

[the painted pear]

Those are wonderful pictures, and so nice of you to share. She looks like a doll, and I hope she doesn't need the lights too long. I don't have any experience with this sort of thing, but I am sure it will all iron itself out. Glad to hear the feet will be straightened out with some exercise too. I am thinking of you.

[Amanda]

Beautiful girl! I love the pics of the kids holding her! So very sweet.

I hope everything works out on the nursing front. That can be so frustrating. Gigi was a pain to nurse, we had other issues. However, on our really bad days the skin to skin contact thing was key. I would get in the tub with her and soak, and usually we would both relax enough to make it happen.

Good news about the feet too!

[Mel]

Hey, Beki! She's such a cutie! As you know, I had problems getting the boys to latch on. My advice is to just keep trying. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, but don't beat yourself up about it. Just continue to pump to keep your supply up. For me, that ended up being easier in the end. Glad you're all home now. Can't wait to meet little Ava. Take care!

[capello]

I'm so happy you came home with the lights!

Darwin was in the NICU for the first nine days of his life, the first three of those he was under an oxygen tank and we couldn't even touch him -- no rubbing the leg, nothing. So I remember how that feels.

Supposedly, the lights feel really good to the babies. And hopefully her levels will go down to normal soon.

Since you've nursed two, I expect you're old hat at this. Hopefully after a week or two Ava will be more willing to get on the breast -- just make sure she's really hungry and you've rubbed some milk into your nipples so everything is right there waiting for her.

Congrats to you and your family!

[Angela]

congratulations to you and your family Beki! Ava is such a beauty. I really love the name. I'm sorry for the frustrations and I do hope everything gets easier soon. You are smart, loving, strong and persistant so I know you'll do what's best for all. I think you look absolutely wonderful too! Much better than I did at that time for sure. 8-) be well.

[Laurie]

I'm so glad to see photos! She's such a pretty baby!

I really hope the nursing works out. I know if anyone can make it work it will be you.

[Marcia]

Hey Beki! Ava is such a beautiful little bundle. I'm so glad you all are home and trying to adjust. Even though you have a bump in the road with the breastfeeding I'm positive you will find a way to make it work. Good Luck.
I wanted to ask though, what kind of bililight do they have her under? Is it the bili-bed? Sounds like it if you are not being able to hold her. IIf it is....talk to you ped. to see if they can get you the bili-blanket. When I had Jaxon he was jaundice and all the had at the time was the bili-bed. It sucked, so I feel your pain. I couldn't hold him except to fed and diaper him. I voiced my frustrations with the bili-bed and the ped. said she was working on getting the bili-blanket but they were short handed on them and had to wait for them to become available. A few days later she had a medical supply company deliver the bili-blanket to my house and all was good! I got to hold him and nurse him. I hope this info helps you.

I think you look fantastic!

[Jenny]

Beautiful! Welcome home!

[Meg]

NOT disgusting!!! Beautiful. And what a baby you have produced. Feeding problems are so wearying - my only advice would be to trust your instincts and do what you think is right. That's not very specific, is it? I found when I had difficulties with my second child I had twenty different people saying twenty different things, and in the end I just had to decide what I thought was right for me and my baby. Which in my case meant going to a bottle, 'cause 4 months of a screaming skinny baby was enough for me. I should have done it earlier, the change in her and me was enormous. I'm not suggesting that you go on a bottle, not at all, just saying that Mother's know their babies best and I am sure over the coming weeks you'll figure her out. It's just the getting there, eh?

[linda]

Oh you guys are all just BEAUTIFUL! After I had my first, I really thought that the breastfeeding/swallowing thing was such a perfect match for occupational therapists, but I had never heard that OTs actually DID that! You see, I was an OT before I had kids - so right now I'm so proud of the woman that helped you! Enough about me...

What a blessing that YOU know what you're doing and that you are dedicated to nursing Ava. Can you imagine if she was your first? You might have given up by now! She is sucking - she'll just need to get past these other issues so you both can just BREATHE! Gotta love the pump - I know I did when the kids were jaundiced. Thanks for taking the time to post - I know it must be hard for you to even make the time for all of us! We are grateful!

[Gina L]

Glad to hear you and the baby are doing good.
I'm sure with a little help she will learn to breast feed and once you get to snuggle her it may encourage her.
And to easy your mind about the turned out feet, I had that and by the time I was walking my mom said it completely fixed itself. She told me the doctors comment was, "Well, you don't have to worry about her falling if she gets on the edge of a cliff." ??????

[Judi]

All that matters is that she's beautiful and healthy...all that other stuff will resolve itself in time and with patience. Keep positive if you can! She's beautiful. Congratulations again.

[joanna]

Sorry I'm so late to post, but I totally know what you are going through. Davey was jaundiced and had to do the bililights too. And all the constant poking for blood they had to do to test his levels, not to mention the IVs...just breaks your heart. Hopefully Ava is done with the bililights by now and you can cuddle her all you want. Davey also had trouble latching on. I pumped for 3 months before I got him to latch on. I also used those nipple shields. Faked him into thinking my boob was a bottle. Best of luck to you. You look GREAT! Ava is a beauty. Glad you guys are home :)

[Cathy]

Awww... she is so precious!!!

I can't imagine how frustrating it is to not be able to hold her. Hang in there and she will be able to nurse. It took my son 3 months to become a pro... I wanted to quit so many times. After that it was no problem at all.

And PUHLEEZ! You look beautiful!

[Heather]

What a beautiful family! And you look amazing!!!

You definitely have a good chance of still nursing, as long as you are pumping and have a good milk supply she'll get the hang of it. I had tons of trouble with James, he would not latch on AT ALL for the first 2 weeks so I used that SNS system on my breast, e-mail me if you want to know more. I would always try to get him to latch on first and when he wouldn't I'd use the SNS. Then one day he just did it! Then I wanted to quit because of the pain!!! But anyway, their mouths are so tiny when they're born it's hard for them to latch on. Just keep pumping and try to latch or on before every feeding and she will get it.

[Mary Ann]

Congratulations to the whole crew! I'm so happy for you!

[Catrina]

Such a beautiful family! You look fantastic by the way & hang in there...everything will work out :)

[Renee]

you are so right about her being a cutie. She's definitely one of the prettiest newborns I've ever seen! I'll try to call you tomorrow and check in on y'all.

[weirdbunny]

She is gorgeous, try not to worry, but I know it's hard not too. Blessings to you and your family.

[Jen]

What a beautiful family you have there lady! I am so happy for you guys!! :D You look great!

[Erin]

What a beautiful family! I hope she is doing better. Congratulations to you all : )

[africankelli]

Beautiful family! I'm so glad it was a healthy birth and you're getting the feeding kinks worked out. She is so sweet and those photos with Lily and Alex are simply lovely.

[greta]

she is soooo beautiful...I had to pump and feed my 2 that way..mason or melana would have nothing to do with the breast so I can relate to the frustration...you just don't get that good hind milk with the pump...hang in there and keep trying...it's just not for some babies

[Leanne]

You look too gorgeous to have just given birth! Congratulations, and I hope everything works out with nursing. My first daughter never caught on, the twins never could because they were so small, and it wasn't until my 4th that it was working great. My breast pump was my new boyfriend for about 4-6 months with all the girls! You'll get it working in harmony, don't worry! Ava is a smart cookie like her mom--she'll figure it all out!

[Mary]

So happy to hear that everything went well and congratulations! Ava Rose. Love the name. Okay, you look great and your kids are the cutest things. You're right about Ava -- she's a real beauty.

Hope all goes okay with the breastfeeding. That's a drag and I'm sure you're surprised since this is your third time. It's always something new, isn't it?

Congrats again!

[Alicia P.]

So happy for you Beki, and I wish you and your family all the best as you settle in. You'll get it, Ava!

[Cindy N.]

Glad to know you are home and things are getting better. Just keep trying, my friend. Ava Rose will come around eventually. Giver her a little kiss on the cheek for me!

[Glenn]

My two little boys had jaundice when they were born and I went to the hospital with them. The nurses and doc said the boys had to be under the lights, and it was killng me to not be cuddling them. After the second was born, I figured out that I could hold hiim and point the lights on him at the same time, nursing even! It will all work out. I know it is hard in the beginning.

[krista]

Oh, how could you ever say, "digusting me going home"

You look like a woman of strength! A woman who just birthed a child, A woman filled with love, and a woman who has been through one hell of a week, and woman who is absolutely beautiful.

Good luck with the nursing, but you know, every child is different. You will still have a wonderful and special bond with Ava, even if the nursing doesn't work out. You'll find other ways to bond.

I hope you take good care of yourself in the next little while!

krista

[krystal]

Beki, you look great in that picture! I hope Ava comes around with nursing. Kaleb was a bit jaundiced after he came home for the same reason. I saw others recommended using the SNS..I also used this and it might be something good to try. Lily and Alex (aka little Matt) look so proud! I am so happy for all of you!

[hannah]

oh wow! congratulations! hold on for the ride...

[elizabeth]

girl, you just gave birth. disgusting, I.THINK.NOT!!!

hope all is getting better (i just sent ya an email :)

hugs :)

[Bea]

Congratulations! What a wonderfully cute little girl!

[Carrie Guevara]

Well, I'm a little late but welcome home! I hope all is well and that you guys are settling in nicely. Surely the nursing thing has worked itself out by now but, I thought I'd share what helped my first daughter latch on and suckle properly. My nursing coach putting prepared formula (I'm sure you can use expressed milk too)directly on my nipples. My babe took right to that and we were finally able to get full feedings. (I guess the imediate taste got her going.) I had to use that little trick a couple of times(especially during cholic) and would have given up on nursing all together without it.

I hope everyone's pitching in around the house and letting you get some rest. You definitely deserve it. Happy Mother's Day! :)