artsy-crafty babe

3 months

It's hard to believe that Cecilia is 3 months old today. 3 months! It seems like such a short amount of time, yet so much has happened.

Ceci is by far my most laid back child - thank goodness! She hardly ever cries, unless she needs something, and she's a good eater & sleeper.  She'll happily lay on a blanket exploring her surroundings if i need to put her down for a bit, but her favorite place to be is in the moby wrap. Oh my, what a lifesaver that moby wrap has been! 

She's all full of smiles and laughs. Oh, how I love hearing her laugh! Unlike all my others, she knows how to self-soothe. She likes to suck her fingers and rub her hair. Sometimes she gets a bit rough and scratches her head up, but she doesn't seem to mind.

With so much going on her around, I guess she has to go with the flow. Drop offs, pick ups, basketball games, dance classes, she's been to them all. And all the kids adore her. I was expecting to have some issues with the de-throned baby, but so far not much has happened. It's a bit hectic at times, but she fits right into our family nicely. I can't imagine life any other way!!!

Happy 3 months, Ceci!!

slow transitions

The other day I took a little stroll down memory lane, aka my blog archives. I was looking for a photo of Ava to confirm that the dress I had on Ceci was a replica of one that Ava wore.  I found it, and I was right.

After reading through a few entries what struck me most was how open I was back then (I've said this many times before, but it always takes me by surprise). What happened to that person? I feel all closed up these days, like I can only write about good stuff or the pretty stuff I've made. I think the other stuff does eventually come out, but I struggle with putting it out there. Basically, I struggle with being honest with myself.

Here goes honesty - the wacky hormones are taking their toll. Its no secret that I struggle with depression. I've written about it before. After being in denial for some time (probably most of my pregnancy) I realize that it's time to reach out to get help (again). A call has been made to my Dr., an appointment with my therapist has been scheduled, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself. More sleep, drinking more water, and eating better are all in order. No more of that crazy superwoman stuff. (yeah, yeah, easier said than done)

My plan was to be back at work full time this past week, but I quickly realized that wasn't wise. As much as I hated to admit it, I need more time to transition. So, I worked another week part time.  Every day I did something that was hard for me - I took an hour or so, to do something just for me. Honestly, I feel guilty about it, though most of the time I used that "me time" to catch up on dishes and tidying the house. In my mind I should rush home to get the baby. I wanted to do that the first day, but ended up heading up to my sewing room to look for something. While I was in there I cleaned out 3 garbage bags and pulled fabrics for a new quilt top. Being in there felt so good. I was only there for half an hour, but it made a big difference. Eye opening, really. It's so easy to lose yourself when you have a new baby, especially when they need you for everything. 

It will be slow going, but I'll get there. I realize that I need to take some time for me (not just for housework), as hard as that is. I can't be everything to everybody all the time. It isn't possible.

And now for more honesty - I wrote this post days ago. I almost deleted it. But I didn't. Things have improved since I first wrote this, and for that I am grateful. Thanks for listening.

 

finding the new normal

Hi there. I promise I haven’t forgotten about this space. With the holidays behind us we have returned to our usual hustle and bustle with school and extracurricular activities. Juggling all that with an infant has been a wee bit challenging. More challenging than I imagined, really. And now my maternity leave is up, so it’s back to work. Oy.

I started back at the office this week part time. At first I was excited to be out the house, then reality quickly set in.  This is HARD. We’re lucky to have found a good caretaker for Cecilia, so that isn’t really an issue, it’s the fitting it all in that is proving to be a challenge.

I’ve only been at work a few hours this week, yet it looks like a bomb went off in my house. I suppose I should get used to the look. So far this week I’ve locked myself out the house, overcooked supper, yelled too much, forgotten my lunch twice, forgot the baby’s bottles at home once, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting a call soon about owing lunch money at school. Now I’m trying to figure out how I’ll get the laundry done and everyone fed.

*Sigh* I love my life. Seeing those toothless grins and hearing those sweet coos makes it all worth it. I look at my children and can appreciate where each one of them is at in their life and wouldn’t change a thing. As I deal with pre-teen drama and classroom shenanagans, having a new baby to care for has put it all into perspective. It all goes by so very quickly. Though I don't enjoy every second of it (or big chunks of it sometimes), I realize that I'm pretty darned lucky.

Please bear with me as I try to figure it all out. If there's any time that I need this space as an outlet, now is it! 

*all photos from my 366

 

i made something

For some time now I've been feeling the urge.  Inspiration.  Desire to MAKE something.  I haven't felt that in a while. My latest issue is figuring out HOW. Babies sure are time consuming, aren't they?

The stars must have been in alignment because night I got my chance.  As soon as Ceci fell asleep, I made my way to my sewing room.  My fabric stash is totally uninteresting to me right now, so I went to my sheets.  I gathered some of my favorites. Bright and colorful is what I was feeling.

Once my fabrics were chosen, I started cutting. I felt like I was playing 'beat the clock' to get as much accomplished as I could before Ceci woke up.  I managed to get everything cut out.

This morning my crew all went back to school.  It was just me and the babe.  As soon as she went down for a morning nap, I got busy.  Lucky for me, she took a nice long one. I was almost finished, just one last seam to sew when she woke up.

That's okay, I knew I'd get my chance later.  And I did as soon as the kids were home from school. Just a few minutes of entertainment by the older ones was enough.  The bag was finished!

When I started I wasn't sure what the purpose of the bag would be, but as I started playing with the fabrics I knew that it would be a perfect diaper bag.

Girly, sweet, roomy but not too big, re-purposed materials - everything I could possibly need!

hello 2012

Hi there.  It's 2012.  Just like that, another new year. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel a surge of "wow" or inspiration at the turning of a new year.  It feels nice to start fresh, but that's about it. I suppose that is due to the contentedness I feel right now. 

I'm not going to lie, I lived most of 2011 in a fog.  I was overwhelmed with pregnancy and a new baby. There aren't a whole lot of everyday details that I recall.  Much of it was surviving day to day. I have no regrets or complaints, that's just how it was.

Last year I wanted to come up with a word to live by, but nothing ever came to me.  Out of the blue this afternoon, the word hit me for 2012 - forgiveness. Forgiveness for those in my life who have hurt me, but mostly forgiveness of myself. Yes, I need to forgive myself most of all. I'm tired of carrying around all that baggage.  I want to be free of that burden. 

Life will be very different with a little one in the house.  I'm surprised at how much I've forgotten about life with a baby. Being the seasoned parent that I now am, I don't want to take anything for granted.  It all goes by so very fast! 2012 should be interesting, indeed.

Happy 2012, friends.